Replicant

REPURIKANTO BARENTAIN

Replicant Valentine

Koko wa Greenwood Tankoubon 7, ep. 1, pp.5-30

(Mostly) Translated by Imo-girl (asato@stanfordalumni.org)

With lifesaving assistance by SJaysen of dorm212 (Doumo arigatou gozaimashita! ^_^)

Any errors in translation are purely my fault.

Last Update: 6/20/01

Please do not link directly to this translation. Thanks!

My fourth translation. I wonder if I'm getting any better. *sweatdrop* Corrections are always welcome!

Warning: Not everything on every page is translated. Also, some . . . creative . . . translating has occurred.
There are some spots where I'm pretty convinced I'm wrong. I'll mark those so you can correct me.

I've been working on this particular episode on-and-off for going on two years now. That darn alien's accent
is horrifying. >_<;;

As always, thoughts are in (). My comments and descriptions are in []. Page breaks are marked by (*).

Ready? Go!

[Title page: Replicant Shinobu stands impassively.]

(*)

[Filler page: Swirly-eyed, superdeformed Shun and Hasukawa facefault.]

(*)

[Valentine's Day card, written in girly handwriting.]

Card:

To: Ikeda Mitsuru-SAMA

I love you forever [heart]

As I suspected, you're so cold - !!

From KA-KO

I want to hear your voice...

[Mitsuru is sitting at the kotatsu, gloating over his Valentine's Day loot. Many boxes of chocolate surround
him.]

Mitsuru: [Looking at his card] Hee hee. [heart]

Voice: Well, see you, Mitsuru.

[Mitsuru turns to look. Shinobu has his coat on.]

Shinobu: As always, thanks in advance.

Mitsuru: [Not so gleeful now.] Yeah, yeah.

[Shinobu walks down the hall, smiling. Shun and Tochizawa watch him depart.]

(*)

[Shun, Tochizawa and Hasukawa barge in to room 211.]

Shun: Ojama shima-su! [heart]

Tochizawa: We came to return a video, but... Shinobu-sempai is breaking curfew again?

Tochizawa: Shinobu-sempai does that a lot, doesn't he? I wonder where he's always going.

Shun: What are you talking about?

Shun: On the evening of Valentine's Day, all dressed up -- do you think he's going to a Buddhist memorial
service?! He can only be going on a DATE!

Tochizawa: Eh?! Then -- Shinobu-sempai has a girlfriend?!

Shun: Obviously! Yori dori midori da yo!

Tochizawa: You think Shinobu-sempai plays the field?

Tochizawa: Is that so... Shit. Must be nice...

Hasukawa: Not really.

Hasukawa: It's no big deal having a girlfriend.

(*)

Hasukawa: [Somewhat bitterly] There are times when one must have a love relationship.

Tochizawa: [Aside to Shun] Did something happen to him over break?

Shun: [Aside to Tochizawa] Kind of...

Shun: Hey, hey. Mitsuru-sempai will probably know, right?

Mitsuru: There are (girls).

Tochizawa: Wah. Must be nice.

Shun: Hey.

Mitsuru: However, even I don't ask how many.

Narr: The truth is, there are three.

Boy: [sweatdrop] Well, he looks like Nori, but...

Boy: Isn't he a little dark?

Mitsuru: [To the replicant] You... Who are you?

(*)

Replicant: [Emotionlessly] I'm... human.

All: [Recoiling] WAH! This guy's not human!

[Shinobu and the alien/demon are outside the dorm.]

Shinobu: In other words, you're certain it's in this vicinity?

Demon: Yes!

(*)

[Shinobu stands outside the open dorm window. From inside, the faint noises of running and screaming
can be heard.]

Demon: Something wrong?

Shinobu: No... I just have a bad feeling...

Shinobu: doushite kureru?

Demon: Huh?

[Back in the dorm, the replicant has gone back to walking around with his door.]

Boy: What's he doing?

Boy 2: Aww! Where am I gonna sleep tonight?

Boy 3: Somebody stop him!

Yoshiki: [To Fujikake] Are you going (to help)?

Fujikake: No way! What if that really *is* Shinobu-sempai?

Boy 4: If it's not Shinobu, I'm not afraid of him! Let's go!

Boy 5: This is a grudge!

(*)

[The two boys grab the replicant by the arms.]

Grabbing FX: Gashi. Gashi.

[It flings them off easily.]

Flinging FX: BUN!

Boy 4: [Flying through the air] Kyaa!

Boy 4: That's no ordinary strength! There's no way Shinobu could be that strong!

[Everyone imagines what the creature is.]

Boy: (Terminator.)

Etc: (Evil Doll.)

Hasukawa: (The Mannequin from that Devilman TV episode.)

Mitsuru: (Mecharoid.)

[The replicant holds the door up in front of it.]

Mitsuru: (What is he persisting in doing with that door?)

Nasu Yukie: The memory of breaking the container door and getting out must be affecting it. [Translation?]

(*)

Boy: Someone go wake up Furusawa-sempai!

Mitsuru: Hasukawa. Which do you bet on?

Mitsuru: [Holding up fingers] One: that's Shinobu's evil disguise. Two: Shinobu is sleepwalking. Three:
Shinobu is being controlled by something. Four: that's Shinobu's living ghost. Five: that's not Shinobu.

Hasukawa: [Thinking] ...Number five.

Mitsuru: [With an evil gleam in his eye] Is that so? Don't change your mind.

Mitsuru: Okay then!

[Mitsuru strides off purposefully.]

Hasukawa: [Puzzled] ?

[Shinobu fires. A beam of light blows the replicant's face off.]

Cannon FX: DON [BLAM!]

[The dorm residents are stunned and horrified.]

(*)

[The replicant lies spattered with goo. It feels where its face used to be with one hand.]

Boy: [Pointing at the replicant in horror] Ch- Ch- Chocolate?!

[Shinobu shoots the replicant several more times at point-blank range while the other boys cringe. Melted
chocolate splatters everywhere.]

Cannon FX: DON DON DON [BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!]

Shinobu: [To the demon] How was that?

Demon: [Clapping in delight] What excellent destructiveness!

Shinobu: Right.

[Shinobu grabs the replicant's head with one hand.]

Head grabbing FX: Gui.

(*)

[Cannon under one arm, with the demon flying by his side, Shinobu drags the dead replicant down the hall
one-handed while the dorm residents stare after him.]

Replicant-dragging FX: Zuru zururu

Demon: [Hovering outside the dorm window] Well, I'm saved thanks to you! I'll be going then!

[The demon is holding a bundle of sheets. The replicant's arm dangles out of one side.]

Shinobu: Don't bring that kind of thing again.

Demon: Righty-o.

[The demon flies up into the night sky with its bundle.]

Demon: Sorry about all the fuss!

Demon accelerating FX: GUUN

(*)

[Shinobu starts walking back down the hall. The dorm residents stare after him, awed.]

Mitsuru: [Hesitantly] Uh... Um...

[Shinobu turns toward them suddenly and they recoil in fear.]

Shinobu: [Reprovingly] What are you doing hanging around here? You'll catch a cold.

[Shinobu walks off. Everyone stares.]

Narr: That night's events were later referred to as "the Chocolate Doll Incident".

(*)

Narr: It became one of the three great legends of Greenwood.

[The next day, the Dorm Lady is yelling at the boys as they try to tidy up the mess.]

Dorm Lady: [Vein popping] What happened last night?! Eh?!

Clueless boy: Yeah, what happened?

Boy with hammer: [sweatdrop]

Hammering FX: Kon kon

[Mitsuru studies a chocolate figure in a box queasily.]

Mitsuru: Th- this is...

Narr: Everything was a mystery.

Narr: Perhaps it was just a dream shared by everyone.

[Shun, Hasukawa and another boy whisper to each other.]

Shun: Sure enough -- We just have to ask Shinobu-sempai, right?

Boy: Yeah, but...

Narr: Only one thing is certain.

Narr: Even if it was just a dream, the indisputable truth is that nothing

could make Shinobu-sempai afraid.

Boy: To have killed a thing with his own face so easily...

Hasukawa: ...what would he do to someone else?

[Shinobu stands surrounded by poppies, a box of chocolate in his hand.]

REPURIKANTO BARENTAIN / Owari

[The demon starts to lecture Shinobu.]

Demon: Kii kii.

Shinobu: I've seen this somewhere before. What is this?

Demon: [Startled] Ki?!

Demon: Goshies. Is this the real thing? Sorry for my rudeness.

Demon: No help for it. Well, I'm a space alien!

(*)

Shinobu: I see. [Actually he makes a noise that indicates mild surprise/disbelief.]

Demon: [Taken aback] You're a sturdy-spirited person, aren't you?

Shinobu: Would the situation change if I said I was surprised?

Demon: No.

Demon: Ah, that's right, you're young! Since you're so open-minded, I have one request -- won't you hear
me out?

Shinobu: Request?

Demon: The truth is, I made a model. I dropped the container in this neighborhood and the merchandise
made a replica of an Earthling.

Demon: I want to find it and take it back without causing a fuss. Won't you help me just this once?

Shinobu: Does it resemble me?

Demon: Exactly the same! Perhaps there's some fated connection between the two of you!

(*)

Demon: The truth is -- it's the manufacturing division's Best Design Award-winning merchandise!

Shinobu: Shall I cooperate?

Demon: Thank you ever so much. You've really saved me! I don't go out much in front of Earthlings. Darn it,
where'd it walk off to?

Shinobu: ...... what did you say?.......walk...?

[The window Mitsuru had unlocked is open. A bleary-eyed boy wanders out of his room.]

Boy: Che, it's cold... The window's open, isn't it?

(*)

Boy: [Seeing the open window] Aha! I knew it!

Boy: Damn! Who's going out at dawn...

[He notices a dark form with its back to him.]

Boy: [Startled] Shi- Shinobu..! Just getting back?

Boy: (Crap. It was Shinobu.) [sweatdrop]

[The replicant turns and stares, then approaches and looms over the frightened boy.]

Boy: [Raising his hands in surrender] I didn't see! I didn't see anything!

(*)

[The replicant turns away suddenly.]

Replicant turning FX: Kuru!

Boy: [Hyperventilating in relief] Haa -- haa -- haa

[The doors to the dorm rooms attract the replicant's attention. It strides off silently.]

Replicant walking FX: Suta suta

Boy: ? What? Hey... what is it...?

[The replicant stops and places its left hand on a door.]

Boy: ...Shinobu...?

[With one shove, the replicant breaks the door from its hinges and shatters the glass.]

Door breaking FX: BAN!

(*)

[General confusion as various boys wake up and come out of their rooms to stare.]

Boy 2: [Sitting up in bed] What the- ?

Boy: Shi - Shinobu...?!

[The boys whose door is broken poke their heads from their bunks.]

Top bunk boy: Did you do something?!

Bottom bunk boy: I don't know! [sweatdrops]

Boy 3: Aw! Look at this mess--

Boy 4: [Grabbing the replicant by the shoulders] Shinobu! What are you doing in the middle of the night?

[The replicant grabs him by the wrist.]

Boy 4: [Reconsidering] Uh, never mind... Stop it. [sweatdrops]

Nasu Yukie: [Holding a microphone up to Shinobu] Why *three*?

Shinobu: It's the limitations of living in a dorm. It can't be helped. [^_^;;;]

Narr: Since Ryokurin Ryou's curfew is 9 pm, at 9 pm the Dorm Lady closes and locks all the entrances.

Narr: Breaking curfew means being yelled at by the Dorm Lady and having a note made in your record.

If you continue to do it, your parents are notified and you're kicked out of the dorm. Because of this, dorm
residents who intend not to return before curfew have to conspire with a friend in advance to unlock a
window in an inconspicuous place.

[Mitsuru, on his rounds doing nightly roll call, unlocks a window. He's annoyed.]

Mitsuru: (Dammit. Why do I have to get involved in his fooling around with women? Playboy.)

Mitsuru: (Maybe this time I should leave the window locked.)

(*)

[Mitsuru walks away from the window.]

[Two feminine hands hold up a fancy box. A plaque of chocolate with kanji on it rests inside.]

Chocolate:

To Shinobu-kun

Food Art

Noriko

Shinobu: Nice handwriting.

Noriko: I wish you wouldn't come to pick it up *after* your date.

Shinobu: Shouldn't I save the best for last? [Not sure about this translation. Sorry.]

Noriko: [Looks like she has a headache] Right. Shinobu-kun...

Noriko: Please die buried in chocolate.

[Shinobu is walking back to the dorm. The streets are deserted.]

(*)

[Something whizzes past Shinobu's ear.]

Whizzing FX: Hyun!

Voice: Kii kii! Kii kii kii!

Shinobu: ...?

[Loud noises of things breaking.] BAKI!

Boy 4's voice: Gyaaah! I'm sorry!

[Sounds of running and screaming. The Dorm Lady lies in her futon, annoyed.]

Dorm Lady: They're so noisy!

Dorm Lady: (Tomorrow I'll have to have a talk with Ikeda-kun.)

[Hasukawa wakes up as he hears someone knocking on the door to Mitsuru/Shinobu's room.]

Hasukawa: Hn...?

Boy 5's voice: Sempai! Ikeda-sempai!

[Mitsuru stares blearily at Boy 5.]

Mitsuru: Huh? What'd you say?

Boy 5: Just come quick!

[Mitsuru, Hasukawa and Shun follow Boy 5 as he stomps angrily back to the scene of destruction.]

Stomping FX: Doka doka doka

Mitsuru: Shinobu's acting weirder than usual? [I'm pretty sure this line isn't quite right.]

Boy 5: That's not the problem! Sheesh!

[The replicant is walking down the hall carrying a door.]

Freaky replicant FX: NOSHI NOSHI

Boy 5: See?!

(*)

[Everyone hides behind Mitsuru.]

Hasukawa: Please manage somehow!

Mitsuru: "Manage somehow" you say... [sweatdrop]

Boy: You're the only one we can rely on, Sempai!

Mitsuru: [Gripping the bat, determined.] I'll break his hateful head!

Shinobu: Whose head is hateful?

Mitsuru: Your...

Mitsuru: [Suddenly realizing who he's talking to] WAH! SHINOBU?!

Boy: What?

Boy 2: Shinobu?!

Etc.: The real one?

Demon: Korya yappari dokka ikarechimattemasu nee. Mazui naa.

(*)

Shinobu: [Addressing the demon, which is sitting on his shoulder] So then, it's really all right?

Demon: Please don't hold back! There are a lot of copies!

Shinobu: [Producing a large tube with antennae on it from somewhere] This machine... it won't damage
anything else?

Boy 4: [Pointing at the demon] Hey... Shinobu, that's...

Demon: Don't worry!

Boy: What...

Demon: Yoso-sama woudn't bring such dangerous things!

Shinobu: Right.