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WARNING: Contains *ATOMIC SPOILERS* for Marmalade Boy episodes
72-76 and Koko wa Greenwood OAVs 5-6. Please don't ruin either of these
wonderful series for yourself by reading this drivel if you haven't seen *all* of the
episodes of both anime! If you haven't, it won't make any sense to you anyway!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, and if I did, I'd be horrified to see
what I've done with them. Please don't kill me.

[Scene 1: Yuu is at his house looking through some boxes of stuff.]

Yuu: Hey, pictures of my parents when they were in college! What's this?!
Rumi-san and Jin-san are in them too! [Eyes widen.] That means. . .my *real*
father is. . . Noooooo!

[Black shoujo background with spotlight on Yuu, who is huddled on the floor.]

Yuu: I think I'll move out of the house for a while.

[Scene 2: Greenwood. Room 211.]

[Mitsuru, Shinobu, Hasukawa and Shun are sitting around sharing a beer.]

Hasukawa: There's a new transfer student coming today.

Shinobu: I did a little background check. He lives in Tokyo, not far from here.

Mitsuru: He could commute. I wonder why he's living in the dorms.

Shinobu: I hear he's moving out of his house because he's fallen in love with his
step-sister.

Hasukawa: No way! Who would do something so pathetic?

All: [Sweatdrop]

Shinobu: Anyway, should we give him our special greeting?

Mitsuru: What, stripping naked and --

Shinobu: Mitsuru.

Mitsuru: Eh? Oh. Sorry.

Shun: Wai! I guess I'll be getting out the lacy underwear again. [Heart symbols]

Hasukawa: [Nosebleed]

Mitsuru: Hey! Not in the beer!

[Scene 3: Yuu stands in front of Greenwood, suitcase in hand.]

Yuu: [Thinking:] (Well, I guess I did that breaking up thing okay. Miki'll forget all
about me in no time. I'll suffer alone in silence. Yeah. That'll be great!)

[Hasukawa and Shinobu arrive.]

Hasukawa: I'm Hasukawa Kazuya, dorm president. This is Tezuka Shinobu,
Student Council president. Welcome to Greenwood, where there is _absolutely_
_nothing_ weird going on. Ever. Especially nothing weird about your roommate.

Yuu: Whatever. . . I'm Matsuura Yuu.

Hasukawa: What?

Yuu: I'm. Matsuura. Yuu.

Shinobu: Well, we're not sure of _you_ either, but we'll probably get along fine.

[Mitsuru shows up.]

Mitsuru: Hi, Honey!

Shinobu: Hello, Darling!

Yuu: [Sweatdrop] [Thinking:] (I wonder if these guys are _dangerous_. . .)

Hasukawa: Sempai! We're just going to show Yuu here his room.

Mitsuru: Well, don't let me stop you. [Snuggles up to Shinobu.]

Yuu: [Thinking:] (No, they're probably just good friends who are pretending to be
gay because their hearts have been broken by the only girls they'll ever love.
Happens all the time.)

[Scene 4: Outside Room 210]

Mitsuru: Matsuura, what we're telling you is a secret between the four of us, okay?

Hasukawa: It's not like the _entire_dorm_ knows or anything. . .

Yuu: . . .

Shinobu: Your roommate is a girl. For reasons we can't go into, she must graduate
from this school as a male student named Kisaragi Shun.

Yuu: Okay.

Hasukawa: You're *OKAY* with it?

Yuu: Whatever. You should try living at _my_ house.

Mitsuru: [Calls out:] Oi! Your roommate's here!

[Shun opens the door. He's wearing a bikini.]

Shun: Hi! I'm Shun!

Mitsuru: [Thinking:] (Wow, how'd he *hide* that. . .)

Yuu: [Poker face] . . .

Hasukawa: [Nosebleed]

[Scene 5: Inside Room 210. Shun and Yuu are alone.]

Shun: Hey, can I call you Uuura-chan? "Ucchan"'s been taken already.

Yuu: You don't have to worry. I won't tell your secret.

Shun: Really?

Yuu: About you being a guy, I mean.

Shun: H- How'd you know? [Thinking:] (I didn't use enough tape!)

Yuu: If you were *really* a girl, you would have thrown yourself on me by now.

Shun: Sou ka.

[The door flies open. Scary looking Mitsuru and Shinobu loom ominously.]

Mitsuru: By the way, this is an old dorm and the walls are thin here.

Shinobu: So, if you hear any weird noises coming from our room. . .

Both: Ignore them! Got it?

Yuu: . . .

Yuu: [Thinking:] (Oh, the tragedy of failed romance! I really feel for these guys,
putting up such a brave front. . . The humanity!)

Shun: He knows.

[Scene 6: Room 211. Mitsuru and Shinobu are alone.]

Shinobu: Well, we lost big time on the new guy. Instead of having a welcome
party, we're going to have to prostitute ourselves again.

Mitsuru: Wai! [Heart symbols]

Shinobu: You know, there's something about that guy. . .

Mitsuru: You feel strangely attracted to him, too?

Shinobu: No. But he _does_ look uncannily like you.

Mitsuru: So what's not to like?

[Scene 7: The visiting room. Miki is sitting across the table from Yuu while the
dorm residents ogle them from behind the windows.]

[Miki bursts into tears.]

Shinobu: She's not very pretty.

Mitsuru: Her nose turns red when she cries.

Shun: Her voice is so girly -- not sexy like mine.

Mitsuru: She's not attractive at all.

Shinobu: And yet, I have an overwhelming desire to force her to go out with me.

Shun: Me too!

Mitsuru: Yeah. . . And I don't even _like_ girls!

Shinobu: [Thinking:] (I feel very strong evil powers radiating from that girl. . .)

[Yuu rushes from the room.]

Miki: [Sobbing] Yuu! Why did you leave me?

Hasukawa: Well, uh. . . he had diarrhea last night!

Miki: Really?

Hasukawa: Oh yeah. The worst. Uh. We think it's cholera. Probably fatal.
Oh. And he's failing school.

Miki: Oh, Yuu! If only you'd *tell* me these things! [Instantly cheerful] 'Kay!
Guess I'll be going then! [Thinking:] (This boy seems to know just what to say to
cheer me up! . . . Arigatou . . . . . . Kazuya . . .)

Hasukawa: Be my girlfriend!

Miki: Oh, you silly! Tee hee!

Hasukawa: [Despondent]