Other

Hasukawa= What the *Hell*?

Shinobu= It appears we've been transported to the other GW.

Shun= Huh?

Mitsuru= Gundam Wing. You know -- terrorism, suicide, angst, mass
destruction. Ring a bell?

Hasukawa= [Scratching head] I dunno. Sounds like my old junior high P.E.
class to me.

Shun= Yeah. [Shudders] We're not going to have to play *dodge ball*
again, are we? I hated that.

Hasukawa= That was elementary school!

Shun= Don't remind me!

Shinobu= [Smiling] Well, something like that.

Shun= Crud.

Mitsuru= [Grinning] Except *this* time we're playing with missiles.

Hasukawa= What?! Sempai, are you kidding?

Mitsuru= Nope.

Shinobu= Here's the background information you'll need. [Hands out
manilla folders with things like CONFIDENTIAL and FOR YOUR EYES
ONLY and NEED TO KNOW BASIS printed all over them.]

All=[Read.]

Hasukawa= What?! Why do *I* have to play the uptight one who never
gets a date? It's not fair!

Mitsuru= "Not fair"? That's "unjust" to *you*, Wu Fei.

Hasukawa= That's what I'm *saying*! . . .And why's my Gundam named
"Sumire-chan"?!

Shun= At least I don't have to cut my hair. . . Hey, this could be fun!

Mitsuru= That's the spirit, Duo!

Shun= Shinobu-sempai, who are *you* playing?

Shinobu= Quatre.

[Silence]

Shun= Um, really? I guess I would've thought. . .

Hasukawa= . . .That you'd be the scary, emotionless one. Uh. Not to
say that you're scary. . . or emotionless. . . or anything. [Sweats]

Shinobu= Actually, I was originally going to play Heero, but then common
sense reasserted itself.

Mitsuru= [Laughing] Yeah, Shinobu -- Mister Perfect Soldier! Can you
imagine what would happen?

All= [Thinking] Hmmm.

*******Scenario One*******

Relena= Heero, here I am! Come and kill me!

Shinobu= [Shrug.] If you insist. [Pulls trigger.]

Relena= [Clutching chest] Ack. I didn't think you'd actually *do* it.
[Collapses.]

Shinobu= I may share an En, but not with you. Sorry.

Shun= Wow. You really *killed* her.

Shinobu= No, it's merely a tranquillizer. Let's get out of here before she
wakes up.

Mitsuru= [Shaking his head, sadly.] You'd think she'd have learned by
now. That's the third time this week.

Shinobu= Remind me to dump her unconscious body into the ocean next
time. That should take care of it.

*******Scanario Two*******

Shun= Heero, you're going to pilot Wing Zero in an Armani suit?

Shinobu= Spandex gives me a rash.

*******Scenario Three*******

Shun= Heero just self-destructed!

Hasukawa= [Surveying the wreckage] Nice job. There aren't any pieces
big enough to *rub together*, let alone reverse-engineer.

Shun= Do you think he survived?

Mitsuru= . . .Not if this squishy spot I just stepped in means what I
*think* it does. . .

Shun= Oh, my *God*! Is that an *eyeball*?!

All= Eww.

*******End Scenarios*******

Shun= I see what you mean.

Shinobu= It disturbs me that an anime character can attain the title of
"Perfect Soldier" when he can't even kill *himself* properly.

Mitsuru= Admit it. You just don't want to have to laugh maniacally.

Shinobu= [Shrugs]

Hasukawa= But why Quatre?

Shinobu= Trowa's being played by this post.

Post= . . .

Shun= Wow, that was so true-to-life! That post's got talent!

Mitsuru= You should see it do Buster keaton.

Post= . . .

Mitsuru= Plus, there's that whole "Uchuu no atama" thing.

Shinobu= Uchuu no kokoro.

Mitsuru= Whatever. So, *I* get to be spandex-boy -- Heero, "the
Perfect Sempai" Ikeda! [Strikes a pose.]

Hasukawa= [Rolls his eyes.]

Mitsuru= [To Hasukawa] Omae wo korosu.

Shun= [Applauds] Does this mean I get to star in steamy yaoi fanfiction
with you, Sempai?

Mitsuru= No! [Smacks Shun with a rolled-up magazine]

Shun= Itai! *Hee-ro Sempai*!

Hasukawa= So, what's our mission, anyway? Aren't we supposed to save
the world or something?

Mitsuru= Are you kidding? We're going to be hard pressed just to
*survive*!

Shun= What? Why?

Angry Voices= *Quaaaatre*! Doko da?!

Shinobu= They've found us. Get to your Gundams. Quickly!

Shun= Sempai! Who is it? Oz? The Earth Sphere Alliance?

Shinobu= My twenty nine psychotic older sisters.

Hasukawa= Waaah!

All right, I admit to only seeing up to episode 14 of Gundam Wing so far, so if
Quatre ends up self-destructing later in the series (which I'm expecting he will --
it's the thing to *do*, after all) don't tell me. Don't get me wrong, I like Gundam
Wing (even if I'm a little sad it's usurped the initials of my favorite show). I find
myself alternately yelling at the TV for all the idiotic things that happen and
swooning over all the great voice actors. If only Iwata Mitsuo had a nice fat role
in Gundam Wing, I'd be in seiyuu heaven.

Does anyone besides me think that Trowa is a little low on wattage? When Heero
self destructs, Trowa goes and picks up the body with Heavyarms, then he leaves
Heero *strapped to the roof of the transport* while he's driving. Hello? Well,
maybe he thought Heero was dead. But shouldn't he have checked? And later,
Trowa uses the circus as a cover when he tries to blow up that millitary installation
-- did it ever occur to him that Catherine and the others would probably get fried in
the crossfire or at the very least be imprisoned and interrogated? I'm sure he's very
talented and nice and sensitive, and he certainly looks cute with Quatre, but
planning does *not* seem to be his forte.